10 PBEM Etiquette Tips

The following article was originally posted over the RoleplayingTips.com listserv on 21 October 2002. I have received permission to repost it here. Since Play by eMail games are very similar to Play by Post games (such as those available in the Campaign Center), I thought this would be appropriate. I've been meaning to write something like this myself for a while, but never got around to it. Thankfully, Mr. Butler was kind enough to write this and allow me to post it here. I hope this helps everyone -- player and GM alike -- in the games taking place both here and through e-mail.


A Guest Article By Jack Butler
jackbutlerjr@netzero.net
http://www.globalguardians.com

Follow these basic rules and, generally, you can't go wrong.

1. Post

Yes, this is simplistic. So what. Make sure you respond to every move, even if it's a quick note saying "I don't really have something to do so I'll just do research". There is nothing a PBEM GM hates more than setting up the game, sending out an exciting and gripping move, and then receiving no replies. Your character isn't going to be center stage all the time, but when he's not you still need to let the GM know that you are still interested in the game.

There will be times when life prevents you from posting. Maybe you and your family are going away on a trip. Maybe you're in the hospital having a baby. Maybe you're flat on your back with pneumonia. If possible, always warn your GM about times you're going to miss posting. If you can't warn him, send an note fully explaining why you missed responding to the game as soon as you are able. This is polite, and might save your spot in the game.

2. Write In Third Person, Past Tense

Say "he did", "she did", and "it did". Avoid first person like the plague. Never write your narration with "I did this" and "I did that". And whatever you do, don't write "I do this" and "I do that". Remember, you're trying to tell a story, not write a diary.

The primary reason this is so important is because GMs tend to write their moves in third Person, past tense. When he tries to integrate your responses into his moves, and you've been writing in first person present tense, the tense and perspective clash. Making life easy on your GM is a good thing.

3. Use Proper Spelling And Grammar

Regardless of what language you are writing in, choppy paragraphs and badly constructed sentences make for difficult reading. People won't read your posts, or respond, if they cannot decipher what you write.

4. Avoid Bad Posts

There are several different types of posts to be wary of, each with its own problems:

a) Non-Game Related Messages

If you feel you've got to say something to the people on the game's mailing list, as opposed to your character saying something to another character, say it quick, get to the point, and make sure everyone knows it's an out of character post. Use OOC ("Out of Character") to indicate such comments. If you get the compulsion to respond to one of these OOCs, go ahead, but respond directly to the player-- it's considered bad form to respond directly to the list.

b) Rambling Messages That Say Nothing

These messages usually consist of five miles of unremoved quotes followed by three lines of new text. This is not only impolite, it's incredibly annoying. It borders on spamming. It's a good idea to quote the message you are replying to in your new response, but only quote applicable text.

c) Messages From The Willingly Oblivious

These messages come about when one player totally ignores something posted by someone else, be it another player or the GM. If you don't like something that's been posted, you are NOT allowed to just ignore it and move on... especially if it came from the GM. Feel free to voice your objection to the GM, in a private message.

d) Super-Hero Syndrome

Basically a post of this sort involves your character doing things he simply isn't capable of doing and not responding correctly to his weaknesses. The best example would be a character who should be hobbling around in pain after being wounded, but instead is prancing around like he was Errol Flynn in Captain Blood. This is a serious issue, even in games set in the superhero-genre.

e) Flames

Now, when I say flames, I don't just mean two players hurling insults at each other. That's generally enough to get you booted from most PBEMs out there. I also mean the dirty trick known as the In-Character Flame War. In such a flamefest, two or more players will use their characters to fight each other over problems they are having in real life. You can tell this is going on when two characters who have no reason to be hostile to each other suddenly start fighting. Not good. It screws up the GM's storylines and annoys the hell out of everyone else.

f) Assassin Posts

To put it simply, do not kill, maim, or otherwise destroy another character without the express permission of both the GM and (if it's a player character you're aiming to hurt) the other player. It really upsets people when you try to do this, so much so that you are inviting retribution by merely considering it. If you want to seriously hurt a character, remember that the only PC you don't need permission for is your own.

g) Plot Changers

Do not post a message which drastically changes the plotline the game follows. The GM is there for a reason, after all, and it's his game, not yours. If you have a good idea for a plotline, contact the GM. Maybe he'll like your idea and run with it. But if he doesn't, let it go. Don't try to force him to accept your idea by jamming it into his game on your own.

5. Follow Syntax Conventions

When presenting dialog, use the correct encapsulating characters to help identify how the dialog is being heard by others. It varies from game to game, and GM to GM, but it's almost certain that there is going to be some accepted rules about dialog conventions. Some commonly used conventions are as follows:

"Use quotation marks here," the speaker said aloud.

*Asterisks are used here,* came a voice over the radio.

<<Double angled brackets are an indication of a foreign language being spoken,>> said a voice in perfectly accented Russian.

::Typed text, such as that appearing in a book or in a newspaper, should appear in double colons::, the hero read.

(Parentheses are used here) the man thought to himself.

{Squiggly brackets are used here}, came the mysterious telepathic voice.

6. In His Own Game, The GM's Word Is Law

Most Game Masters are willing to listen to opposing opinions, but never, ever present your opposing opinion to them on the game's mailing list. And if a GM ever says something along the lines as "my decision stands", let the issue go. We mean it, let it drop. Continuing to argue after he's reached a final decision is not a smart thing to do if you intend to continue playing in his game.

On a related note:

5a. Don't Be A Rules Lawyer. Most GM's hate this. If the GM makes a rules mistake, politely inform him of it out-of-game and hope he doesn't repeat it. Do not demand that he reverse himself, especially if he already made his final decision.

7. Treat The Game As If It Is A Game

No one is going to come up with a cure for cancer while typing away at a PBEM. And PBEMs don't promote world peace. They're just games.

This has three meanings:

  1. Never forget, life doesn't change just because your character gets reamed.

  2. Your actions can contribute to the group enjoyment or take away from it. It's up to you whether or not you have fun.

  3. If real life is interfering with your game play, see to your real life first, even if it means dropping out of the game.

8. Be Heard, But Don't Shout Others Down

If you're naturally quiet and generally only post the minimum amount to stay in the game, try to post more often...at least enough to be recognized as being around.

If you're a big talker who responds to everything vaguely connected to your character, shut up once in a while and let someone else get a word in edgewise.

9. Avoid Time Crunches

Reply to a new move in a timely fashion. Sure, it's sometimes impossible, but at least make the effort. It also means avoid spiraling time scales. It is rare that an action CAN and MUST take place at such and such a time and no later. If you can do something later and thereby avoid wedging in an unnecessary action now, you'll be the GM's friend for life. The game cannot move forward if everyone is always trying to get the last word in. Don't do this if you can help it.

10. Always Remember The Most Important Rule

This rule reads: "If You Become A Problem, You Will Almost Certainly Be Removed From The Game". This means be polite. It's not that hard. In the words of Benjamin Franklin, occasionally doubt your own infallibility. This has nothing to do with what your character does with the other characters. It involves other real people and whether or not they're enjoying the game with you in it. Be considerate and polite whenever possible.