Very recently, a friend of mine lost her grandfather. I didn't know the man. Indeed, I was only aware of his existence in that sort of vague way that anyone is aware of the relatives of a casual friend; you know that they must have relatives, but you don't know anything beyond that. But I did see how his death affected my friend. While she was never as ebullient as I am wont to be, a certain cheer has left her eyes in the past few days, and while she's still beautiful, you can see the emotional fatigue in her face.

I was at a loss as to what to say to this friend. "I'm sorry that your grandfather died" isn't really the truth. From what I understand, he was not in the best of health, and his last few days were painful ones. As a human being, I am glad that his suffering is over. At a loss as to what to say, but knowing I must say something, I simply blessed her, and wished her well on her journey to his funeral.

I've been thinking about this for several days. What it comes back to, though, is humans have all sorts of platitudes that we simply speak, without thinking about their meaning, or what we truly want to say. The above platitude would have really meant, had I said it "I'm sorry that you're in pain." Recently, I've tried to teach myself to speak the truth… joking, of course, is somewhat different, but I wish to speak the truth when asked my feelings or thoughts, or simply decline to answer. That has meant that I must go over my own vocabulary, and think about what each of the platitudes I might use really means… and how I can best speak the truth, even when it is simpler to smooth over the often nasty, jagged, and sometimes painful or ugly truth with a harmless lie.

Hail to the Ancestors, who have gone before us! And Hail to the grandfather of my friend; may he join his ancestors on the Glittering Plains!