The Curse of the Mind
Total Recall, as Pete can attest, is one of my favorite psionic powers. Maybe it's because of it's innocuousness. For a mere 2 ISP, you can call up anything you desire... and even if you have no ISP, you have a chance of knowing a bit about what you wanted to remember. Wonderful, cheap, power that should have much more of an impact on the game than it does.
However, what no one has really looked at, so far as I can tell, is the consequences of this power... what remembering everything, whether you want to or not, will do to the human mind, and, eventually, the body.
Before I begin, it may be best to say a bit about myself. I, personally, have near-total recall, especially for highly charged events. This has helped me a lot... in fact, my 3.0 last semester was largely due to me relying on this ability. However, even this low degree of memory (compared to Total Recall) does have it's drawbacks.
The first is that there are some things I just can't forget. I can push them to the back of my mind or try to ignore them, but they're always ready to jump back upon me when my defenses are down. Now, I've done some
terrible things in my life, as well as some things that were stupid or just plain embarrassing. I am not allowed to forget them, no matter what else I do in my life.
Secondly, there is the fact that this memory will often get in the way, either functioning when I don't want it to (like suddenly remembering all the words to "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi" during a quiz). These "misfires" can wreak havoc with concentration, simply because Weird Al's musings about the perfect rabbi have very little to do with David Hume.
Last, and perhaps least (for the purposes of this essay, at least), there is the tendency to rely on my memory more than I should. I rarely study more than a quick read-through, figuring that I'll remember it. I'm not good enough that that's always true, so you'll often see me sitting at the front of class, trying in vain to remember some factoid that would be even remotely pertinent to the Mexican-American War, and often drawing a blank (except, maybe, for Weird Al singing "Taco Grande").
Now, these all come about with only my, mortal, memory. Imagine what someone with Total Recall must go through, every day of their life. While Total Recall might be handy, I can also see that it would be an unending hell for these people, especially those, like adventurers, who see more of the horrors and more of the darkness in the world than anyone else.
The first problem, of course, will be the most difficult for someone with Total Recall. Imagine being able to see, in perfect detail, how your friend looked as the lightning bolt caused him to explode. Or the screams of your mother and sisters when the ogres attacked, wanting breeding stock. On a normal human, this would be traumatic enough... but for someone with Total Recall, this will come up every time they remember their family, their friend. They can't block it out, they can't even choose not to remember the things that cause them pain. With paranormal accuracy, all will be revealed, time and again, and again.
This would be even more of a problem, in my mind, for those who were once evil, but have now reformed. Even as I remember the horrible things I've done, they would as well. If this person were truly scum, I can't even imagine what they would go through, recalling the pleas of their victims, or the scent of burning. It will never leave them, in all it's
perfect, immutable, detail.
The idea of a memory out of control leads us to our second problem. You cannot always control your memory, or dictate what your subconscious will bring to your attention. Even if you can somehow manage to avoid thinking about it during the day, there are still the long nights... either staring up at the roof of a tent or inn or home, or when the nightmares come for you. The nightmares, created from both your perfect recollection and your subconscious creativity would be far more horrible than any Hollywood creation, and likely include more sense than just sight and
sound... scent and touch and taste are preserved in memory, as well, and escaping them would take a heavy toll.
In order to avoid the nightmares, I imagine many would turn to meditation... but even that has it's drawbacks. While meditation may be twice as effective as sleep for your mind, I would say it's only half as effective as sleep for your body. Meditating for 8 hours may mean your mind is fresh, but your body will be exhausted, just from being in a state
of wakefulness (or half-wakefulness). Even the most resilient mind, the least stressed body, will have to sleep eventually... and sleep is something someone with these kinds of memories cannot afford to do, not if he wants to remain sane.
The last problem is less likely a problem for psionics with Total Recall than the previous two. While I have a terrible time remembering things at times, the cheapness of the power (from an ISP point of view, at least), means that they'll most often have enough ISP to power it... if not, they can either make due with the slightly blurry details that come with not spending any ISP, or they can meditate for a few moments and regain it. They'll truly be able to rely on their memories to a degree I envy.
Obviously, the problems above aren't going to apply to everyone. Most people go through life with nothing exceptionally traumatic happening to them... the human mind is incredibly resistant to shocks, so they will make
it through, likely a little better off for being able to remember whatever they need. However, for those who take the world in their hands every day... adventurers, kings, villains, and magicians... the ability will almost be as much a curse as a blessing. As their life goes on, they'll likely get more and more eccentric, or possibly even insane. Each year, people who lead an intense life will have to make one or two saves vs. insanity. If the first save is passed, nothing untoward happens. If it is failed, they must make a second. If the second save vs. insanity is failed, they acquire a full-blown insanity, based on a past event... it may be an obsession with destroying ogres or a phobia of lightning, for those two I mentioned in my examples of traumatic events. If the second check is passed, then what would have been an insanity is only a quirk... the character irrationally dislikes all ogres, taking even longer than normal to trust them, or perhaps gets a little jittery every time there's a flash of light in the sky. Role-playing will tell what this quirk turns out to be, and can add a dimension to a character.
A perfect memory can be a wonderful thing, freeing one from the hassle of forgetting, the tedium of tiny notes lost in your room, or the life-threatening danger of forgetting your anniversary. For those whose lives are filled with things sane men are better off forgetting, though, it can be all that separates them from a good nights sleep.
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